


Especially Never Work With Animals

by significantowl



Category: Merlin (BBC) RPF
Genre: Community: fandom_stocking, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-06
Updated: 2010-04-06
Packaged: 2017-10-08 18:18:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/78237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/significantowl/pseuds/significantowl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Series three, episode three features a live snake, so of course Colin Morgan gets snakebitten.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Especially Never Work With Animals

**Author's Note:**

> Not true. Fictional characterizations and situations. No disrespect or invasion of privacy intended.

Series three, episode three features a live snake, a trained, seasoned, non-venomous one, the kind children are encouraged to pat at zoo demonstrations. So of course Colin Morgan gets snakebitten.

There are moments when it's quite funny, and not just in a bitter cosmic joke sort of way. Like when they pretend that Colin is now Snake-Man, endowed with the strange and mystical powers of the snake, and Colin does things like walk from place to place in zig-zaggy slithery lines, or taste the air with tiny flickers of his tongue while they stand in the buffet line, predicting what's laid on for lunch.

Turns out that Snake-Man is fairly rubbish at this, not to mention a little preoccupied with predicting chickpea stew for Bradley's liking, and do chickpeas actually even _smell_ like anything? That's what Bradley'd like to know.

Also funny: watching Angel go from "Why do you two keep hissing?" to "Oh my God, if you two don't _stop_ with the Parseltongue I'm going to -" It's a two-day journey she makes, from confusion to realisation to utter exasperation, with plenty of unspecified threats along the way, and it's truly a treat to behold.

But there are too many moments when it's not funny at all.

Like when they've been filming eight hours, and Colin is tired, shifting in his chair between takes, trying to get comfortable and never seeming to manage it. His stitches hurt, his leg is swelling, Bradley knows it, but just try getting him to prop his leg up in your lap. All you'll get is polite little head-shakes for your trouble.

It would be too much like complaining. Too much like making a fuss in front of everyone. See, Bradley's learning.

And after taking his antibiotics, that's never funny either, when Colin goes drawn and white and closes his eyes, breathes, swallows. Sometimes he's able to hide out in the loo, but most of the time he can't, too busy, and it just becomes part of what happens on set, part of the madness, and Bradley has to watch from across the room, his own stomach twisting up.

One day Bradley heaps a napkin with cream crackers from the buffet, and shoves them all down into the pocket of Merlin's jacket. If there's one thing his mum's taught him, it's that Crackers Will Help. Colin doesn't notice a thing, but Angel does, and when Bradley curls his lip and hisses at her, she turns away, hands in the air, defeated by the mighty... actually, they haven't decided on a name for Snake-Man's partner yet.

There's definitely no laughing at the first, when Bradley gets the text from Katie telling him what's happened.

And when Katie gets back two hours later from whatever Welsh forest they'd been filming in - Colin not with her, of course, Colin at hospital getting stitched up - Bradley can't even speak. Can't take his eyes off the rusty dark streak on the sleeve of her jewel-green gown.

Katie doesn't even know it's there, has to twist her arm around to follow his eyes. There's a sick shock on her face when she realises, and Katie reaches out, then snatches her arm back like it's hot, like it might burn Bradley alive.

"I was the closest. Bradley -"

And he listens to her "He's okay"'s and "It's not that bad"'s, but they don't mean much of anything without seeing Colin, and mostly what he hears is _I was the closest_, over and over again, and it sounds like _You weren't there._

But he's working on that, and the universe can just consider itself on notice.


End file.
